Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
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