My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Rumble strips road head = magical
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
