I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize