my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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