her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
