She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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