you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
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