Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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