i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
the gays at disneyland are vicious
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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