I'm really into asian looking animals
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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