So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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