why didn't you poke me back
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize