on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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