ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize