Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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