He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
