glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
