I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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