K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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