the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
