theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
