dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
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