i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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