Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
