You were right. It hurts to walk today.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
