I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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