my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Randomize