So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
