Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Randomize