Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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