She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
