we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
My vagina is officially offended.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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