I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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