What a fucking waste of an outfit
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
