My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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