I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Randomize