It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
