it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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