my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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