..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize