She's JV to your varsity
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
i think i have two assholes
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
