i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
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