Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
