Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize