you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
