He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
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