i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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