My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
