In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
