I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
