i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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