On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
