dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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