Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
