you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
