yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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