things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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