This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
All the doctor said was why
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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