living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
