What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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