Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I will pee on everything he values.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Randomize
